Lately, I have been in a reflective mood. I have mainly been thinking and reflecting about my family, specifically my grandmother (on my mother’s side), Vara Lee Madsen.
This month, she and Grandfather would have celebrated over 50 years of marriage!
I do not think that I have ever expressed to anyone how much I miss her.
She passed away right around Thanksgiving of 2003.
It was hard.
I have never seen my grandfather cry like he did that night.
I cried.
My mom cried.
It was tough.
She had a special spunk.
She was a true Texan...through and through.
She always had a twinkle in her eyes.
She loved life and she lived a full one too.
She left a legacy of love in this granddaughter's heart for things such as poetry, painting, Spanish, card games and dominoes…to name just a few.
I still think of her every time I see “Wheel of Fortune” or “Jeopardy” on the television. She was religious about watching both of those shows every evening.
When I was little, we lived on the same road in Florida - “Madsen Circle”. I used to walk down to see her and G-father almost every day.
Before I started kindergarten, when my mom started teaching school, my days were spent with them. We would go to the Commissary and do the weekly grocery shopping and then on the way home we would stop by the NCO Club on base for lunch.
I always would get the jell-o.
Then once we were home, we would pull out the dominoes and we would start a wonderful, fun-filled game between her and me. She enjoyed math and she would always “help” me do the adding, it was tough.
Then at some point, we would go outside to play. I would scout out the blueberries and eat as many as I could. Then we would venture over to her “workshop”. She was a ceramic artist. She had a way with the paintbrush. My mom still has some of the plates that both her and G-father poured and painted. She owned a ceramic store when they first moved to Florida.
She was beautiful, both inside and out.
I loved her so much and I love her still.
I think she would have liked Stephen.
When we moved to Alabama...I was ten. I missed being able to walk down the road to see them. But when I was twelve, my parents moved us into a bigger house so that Grandmother and Grandfather could move in with us. That was an adjustment. But it was really neat having them close again.
A couple years ago, as I was driving to class, a song came on the radio that has since, always reminded me of my grandmother...
It brings me to tears every time.
"Homesick"
By: MercyMe
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now.
If she were still around, I think that...
I would tell her "I love you!" more,
I would never stop hugging her,
I would always make time to play one more round of dominoes,
and I would at least try to speak better Spanish...
But I know that she is in heaven...safe and healthy...and I can imagine her playing an endless round of dominoes with an old friend.
I love you, Grandmother!
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